Submitted by bryanyusuf on Tue, 10/05/2011 - 15:30
January came and is now over. I know most people have already broken their New Year’s resolutions, those who make them that is. Who does anyway, we are in the 21st Century, resolutions are so 20th Century! Anyway, that’s not the point. Thing is, I know many people are in relationships that they want to take to the next level, others have decided into getting into relationships this year (Valentine is here and love will be in the air) and others have decided to stay off such kind of things. For those who are walking down that road, here are some rules I think might help make (or break) your relationships. I have come across these rules from reading, hearing people’s experiences and stories and a few from my personal experiences!
RULE 11 - PHONE RULE
Never go through your boy/girlfriend’s phone! In fact you should not even touch it unless you are picking up after a fall or something! His or her text messages and call lists are none of your business. If you find yourself going through these then you are prying so much into their lives.
RULE 10 - CALL RULE
This has appeared at the near end of my list because I am not sure if it should be near the top! Its also called the keep in touch rule. Every person in a relationship wants to hear from the other as often as possible. Technology has made keeping in touch very easy these days. You can ‘POKE’, “MENTION’ DIRECT MESSAGE’ (DM) someone or even text them. However as I came to read somewhere and later learn that that is not sufficient. That other person wants you to call. Girls are particularly crazy about this. She insists on you calling and not texting! So guys, you better up your game, especially now that there are cheaper calling rates!
RULE 9 - COMMUNICATION RULE
This the simplest of all. Say what you want. Don’t beat around the bush. If you are a guy, say what you want from the relationship at the onset. They say good men make their intentions known early. And they say the hardest task in a girl’s life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious! It gets thick right there. If you aren’t careful, you may end up in a friendship relationship. You’re just friends who hang out, catch drinks and that kind of thing. So say what you want!
RULE 8 - PROMISE RULE
Many people promise their boyfriends or girlfriends so many things at the initial stages of their relationship. The harsh reality checks in later when they realize that those were only empty promises. The rule here is NEVER PROMISE WHAT YOU CAN’T DELIVER! PERIOD!
RULE 7 - SURPRISE RULE
Every one loves surprises. Once in a while that adds flavor to your relationship, so I hear. I don’t know what surprises mean but some people have taken it to another level. I don’t know if it entails a getaway to Zanzibar for the weekend or an expensive gift, or dinner at that exclusive club! It all depends on the people in the relationship. Either way, your significant other needs to be surprised! Home made candle lit dinner would do it for me. But the thing to note is that it should not be done by one person. Its a two-way thing!
RULE 6 - ‘I LOVE YOU’ RULE
This is critical, please take note of this! NEVER BE QUICK TO SAY ‘I LOVE YOU’! Take your time to know the person and let them get to know you. There is so much you can learn from a person that even a year is not enough! Don’t do that mistake of telling the other person that you love them after two weeks of knowing them! I know someone who did that! But again, it depends on the connection that the people have. Some people just need one date to connect, others need up to ten years!
RULE 5 - TAKE YOUR TIME
Very simple, don’t be in a rush. When people are in a rush, they tend to make mistakes that can never be undone! You might end up giving the other person the wrong impression about yourself. Men are always guilty of this. Women have now ended up seeing men as sex predators; coz men are always in a rush and can’t seem to keep their pants zipped. Again, I repeat, take your time!
RULE 4 - SUBORDINATION RULE
Never show your partner that you have done some much for them and that you are the perfect person that ever existed; that in fact they are blessed to have you as a boy friend or girl friend. This happens mostly when people are treading that rocky path in their relationship. No matter how big your ego is, never pull that ‘EVEN-AFTER-ALL-THAT-I-HAVE-DONE-FOR-YOU’ card on your partner! You relationship will end there, I promise you!
RULE 3 - BE YOURSELF RULE
This is so self-explanatory. Do not pretend to someone you are not just to make an impression on the other person. If you are used to having lunch at the Ole Sereni or Sankara just stick there. Don’t force yourself to eat kuku porno at Caprice or Kenchic. And if you are used to chapati dondo kwa mama safi, just stick there. Java ain’t for you my friend. He or she will dump you if they discover that you are a fake, trust me!
RULE 2 - COMPARISON RULE
Comparing your partner to your previous partner or ex is the worst thing a person can do to themselves. Even if you liked the way your ex-boyfriend was good in bed or the way your ex-girlfriend was good in the kitchen, your current one cannot be like them. Learn to adapt and come up with new ideas! Comparing you current partner to your ex just shows how you’re still hang up on your ex. STOP IT if you do! And NEVER DO IT if you haven’t.
RULE 1 - CARING RULE
This is the ultimate rule that everyone in a relationship should observe. Always show that you care about your partner. Genuinely show that you care about him/her and the things that are important to him/her. If he supports a cause for abandoned dogs, support him! If she is an environmentalist passionate about global warming, support her! Do you know why you need to? That is where your boyfriend or girlfriend derives that happiness he/she doesn’t get from the relationship! Stand by him or her even if it means staying up late waiting for him as he catches the football game with the boys or waiting in the car as she gets her hair done in the salon. That is why you are together.
Relationships are interesting, I must say. And now that valentine is here, let there be peace and happiness in the world! Don’t ask who my date is for February 14 is! And if you wanna know, the remote, TV, movies and lots of work will keep be busy :p